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Name withheld by request

     Having a stepfather isn’t easy and I would personally say that it has utterly made my life more miserable. I had mixed feelings about the inclusion of a new and unknown person in the household. I experienced the hardship of meeting a person who may be nice the first few times we meet and greet, but later the person’s attitude and behavior morphs. Many times my stepfather targeted me for not being his son or just for existing. I hadn’t ever spent much time with my biological father throughout my childhood; however, my mother was constantly around to support and care for me. I had to adjust and accept some learning experiences that remain very uncomfortable for me.  A few years have passed and things get still more complicated.

     I call my mother “Ma” the majority of time, same with my biological father, “Pa.” The first time I met my stepdad was when I was between six and seven years old.  At first he turned out to be a nice and respectable individual; however, I didn’t have the knowledge then that he was going to move in with us.  I was unsure why, but not long after, he began to show his true colors.  He questioned me why my dad never came back to “care for his mess.” I didn’t answer because I had no idea what he was talking about. Then he goes on, “Well, you’re just another mistake I have to deal with.”  Hearing that made me feel bad.  Then other misunderstandings began to roll in.

     One time I had to get my lego box container from outside.  With no warning he came around the corner and into the hallway and asked me where I was going.  I explained that I needed to get my container from outside.  After my explanation, I tried walking past him.  Suddenly he grabbed me on the shoulder and threw me back in front of him.  I landed on my back, scared and in pain.  I was completely confused. Then my Ma came in and was confused too about why I was on the floor.  What made the situation even worse was that he made up a story saying that I tripped and it was my own doing.  This was the beginning of our bitter relationship.     For years, our bitter relationship has gone on and is still active, not changing much despite my coming of age and becoming an adult. There were many more incidents far worse than the one I described. Now I am more aware of his attitude problems and issues surrounding them.  Sadly, they will never be solved in any given circumstance.

b/w silhouette showing conflict

Anna Lee Walters and Native American Literature 2024

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